INDEPENDENCE DAY

 

 

Kenny & the Dead Donkey

A city boy, Kenny , moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died last night.”

Kenny replied: “Well then, just give me my money back.”

The farmer said: “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

Kenny said: “OK then, just unload the donkey.”

The farmer asked: “What you gonna to do with him?”

Kenny: “I’m going to raffle him off.” (Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery – draw lot -! to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket)

Farmer: “You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!”

Kenny: “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, “What happened with that dead donkey?”

Kenny: “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998.00.”

Farmer: “Didn’t anyone complain?”

Kenny: “Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars.”

 

TRY READING THIS..

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty  uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig  to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the  ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat  ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll  raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey  lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

 

Think About it…/

 

Raj was a blind boy, who hated himself just because he was blind. He hated everyone except his girlfriend Asha. She was always there for him. He said that if he could see the world, he would marry Asha. One day, someone donated a pair of eyes and Raj could see again!

Asha asked him, “Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?” Raj was shocked when he saw that his girlfriend was blind too, and refused to marry her.

 

Asha walked away in tears and later wrote a letter to Raj saying  – “JUST TAKE CARE OF MY EYES PLEASE”

QUOTES – So True !

 

A sharp tongue can cut my own throat.

If  I want my dreams to come true, I mustn’t oversleep.

Of  all the things I wear, my expression is the most  important.

The  happiness of my life depends on the quality of my  thoughts.

The  heaviest thing I can carry is a grudge.

One  thing I can give and still keep…is my word.

I  lie the loudest when I lie to myself.

If I lack  the courage to start, I have already finished.

One  thing I can’t recycle is wasted time.

Ideas  won’t work unless ‘ I ‘ do.

My  mind is like a parachute…it functions only when open.

The  pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! It is never too late to become what I  might have been.

There are some things that money can’t buy. For everything else, my salary isn’t sufficient!!

I try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.

They can’t fire me, slaves have to be sold.

Death is hereditary.

Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.

Well done is better than well said.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Pessimist: A person that looks both ways when crossing a one way street.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train.

Where there’s a will there are five hundred relatives.

I have a drinking problem – I can’t afford it.

An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound Confusing.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

LOVE FLOWCHART